Hybrid Religion

As a young boy, my parents instructed me “do not forget that you are a Jew” and be a good American.  They did not tell me how to do that.  They brought me up to accommodate the Jewish and the American parts of my identity, to negotiate, every day in all sorts of ways, between these two aspects of my life. Without saying so, my parents were bringing me up to engage in “hybrid religion.”

Hybrid religion is figuring out how to be religious when you are surrounded by a different religious culture. If you are religious in America, you do so under the umbrella of American culture.

Some of us are not happy about this so we ty to isolate ourselves and avoid the culture as much as we can; others love American culture and have made their peace with it, but most of us are in the middle constructing our own hybrid religion.  Many of us, including me, are committed to building a bridge between our religious tradition and American culture. We are not sure how to do that.  We struggle between accommodating the parts we like and resisting the parts we find offensive.

Here is the secret:  This is what religious people have always had to do.

Each day we balance our religious commitments against the overbearing culture in which we live.  What do I accept, what do I embrace, what do I resist?  This is what we do each day. Of course, there will always be somebody to your right who will complain that you are not merely accommodating; you have capitulated to the culture.

The key is to be wise enough to know what is required for our hybrid religion to have integrity. Here is where the true argument is and has always been.  Religious people have had to figure out how to have integrity “while still participating in the culture that surrounded them.”

As a Jew, I decide what parts of my tradition to embrace and what parts to let go. Christians and Muslims face the same situation.   God’s expectations are, in all of this, at best arguable.  Such is the dilemma of hybrid religion.

Live Despite the Fear

My mother was a worrier.  Having escaped the Nazi madness, she was determined to be in control of her life.  No longer would she be surprised by sudden evil.  When someone knocked on our apartment door, she worried about who was there and interrogated the identity of the person, even when that person was her own son.  When the phone would ring, she panicked about who was calling with terrible news.  Worry, anxiety, and fear were her way of controlling the uncontrollable. I remember one day telling her she should leave our one bedroom apartment, go outside and enjoy the beautiful sunshine.  She refused saying, “It’s sunny now but it will soon be raining.”  My mother had seen craziness up close and she had learned to be afraid of life.

More than any other command in our scriptures and traditions is the exhortation, “do not fear for I am with you”, “the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not fear”, “Fear not, I am the Lord your God”, and on and on it goes.  We are told that we are accompanied by God; we are encouraged and excoriated to not be afraid.  In fact, in the Bible, when someone tells you not to fear, that is precisely the time to begin to worry, you know craziness is on its way.

Here is the problem.  Telling us to not be afraid does not stop us from being afraid.  Fear is a deeply felt unconscious emotion.  And, by the way, there are people, events and things we ought to fear.  My mother was not completely wrong.  Walking in heavy traffic ought to scare you.  The thought of nuclear war is frightening.  Tornadoes and hurricanes cause us to run for cover.  Cancers, heart attacks, ALS, Alzheimer’s and all sorts of other diseases scare us and they ought to.  

We fear what we cannot control.  We are frightened of violent people, unpredictable diseases, and natural calamities that suddenly come out of nowhere and attack us without reason.  But that is life.  Right? What can we do about it?  What can I do about fear, with or without faith, since it seems to be such an intricate part of our being human? 

After my father died, my mother who rarely left her safe apartment, went outside, and got a job working at a bakery.  She had to get up every morning at 5 a.m., catch a bus that took an hour to get to the store and then take the same bus an hour back to get home at 7 p.m.  She fretted, was worried and scared but she acted anyway.   Fear is real, and while some people will say, “Just have faith and everything will work out”, the rest of us know better.  We get up and face the day.  And the day is not always easy.

Over the years, I have come to respect and admire the courage and tenacity of my mother. Despite her worrying, panicking and fear, she survived the Nazis, got married, emigrated to a strange land, raised two boys, cleaned the apartment within an inch of itself, and worked in a bakery. She left that legacy to me and my brother. She showed us, courage is the ability to act despite fear.  Hats off to Pola Haar!

And if you think about it, you and I do this all the time.  In this part of the world we periodically have tornadoes.  They can be terrible and damaging.  Yet, we keep living here.  We overrule the fear and say. “Yes, I am scared.  I feel the fear at the core of my being.  Yet, I will not let it overtake my ability to make decisions.”  “I will not let the fear stop me from living my life.”  Many of us get in our cars every day and join the rest of the drivers knowing that accidents can happen.  Despite the fear, we keep on keeping on.

It takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and go outside.  So, it’s ok and normal to worry, feel anxious, be afraid.  Feel the fear but do not let the fear run your life.  Yes, craziness may attack you but resist its power.   Live your life despite the fear.  If my mother did it, so can you, and so can I.  By the way, living as a “mensch” “despite the fear”, is the heart and soul of all religion!

A Jewish Reflection on Good Friday

Today is Good Friday.  It is a day when Christians remember the killing of Jesus as a day of salvation.  The murder of Jesus is paradoxically understood to be both a tragedy and the gracious act of a merciful God.  In so many Churches across the world the event will be theatrically reenacted, preached about, hymned, and hailed as a day of sadness and salvation.  In and through Jesus death, Christians proclaim, the world is saved from the power of sin, death and evil.

As a Jew, I think of this day differently.  In so many ways and on so many days Good Friday was a dreaded day in the Jewish community.  It was a day when Christians would relive the death of their Lord and once again blame the Jews for having murdered their God. The cross came to be a symbol of pogroms, abuse, vandalism, and much worse. 

Things have indeed changed.  Seventy years after the Holocaust many have recognized the terrible things that were done in the name of Jesus and the cross.  We have come to know each other better.  We have become friends.  We work together.  We marry each other.  We are reconciled.  All is good!

What has not changed is the story.  It is Good Friday and once again the story is told, is read out loud, about the Jews conspiring with the Romans to kill Jesus.  The Gospel stories many not have been originally intended as an indictment against all Jews for all time.  But they have functioned that way for two millennia. 

On this Good Friday, both Jews and Christians need to remember and be aware that the Gospel stories can function in a toxic manner.  On this Good Friday, let us remember what happened.  Let us refuse to forget.  And let us all say, “never again.”

Listening is not easy

Listening and remembering do not come natural to human beings.  First off, I must confess while I listen to what my wife says, I do not always remember what she says.   I suspect I am not alone.

There is a central Jewish prayer called the Shema.  The word Shema means listen.  The Shema prayer goes like this, “Listen Israel, God, our God, is one.”  Twice each day, religious Jews say this prayer and remind themselves to listen and remember.

And, do you realize there’s an entire book in the Bible exhorting people to listen and remember?  The book of Deuteronomy is the final sermon by Moses to the people Israel.  He tells them to listen, remember, do not forget, and act intentionally.  The message about listening and remembering in Deuteronomy is repeated and repeated and repeated.  Btw, the Shema prayer comes from Deuteronomy 6:4.  In this book, Moses knows that his listeners have a problem listening and remembering.   But he patiently reminds them again and again to listen and not forget.

 I think the reasons we don’t listen well are obvious.  We are distracted by other things.  Hindus talk about the “demons of distraction” that keep us from seeing what is real, knowing what is worthwhile, listening to what is true, and remembering what is vital.  Thinking about other things, not paying attention, not caring, not being there even when we are there are all reasons we have problems listening.

For the writer in Deuteronomy, it matters that we listen because it matters to God. In the book, we are partners with God and God needs us to live our lives according to his teachings. And we too seem to need God to stay sane.   If you love and are loved by someone you care because it matters to them.  Whether it is God or a spouse, listening well, remembering, not forgetting and acting well are part of loving and caring for someone besides yourself. 

There is a famous Jewish saying, “In memory lies redemption.” If you remember who you are, where you came from, you will have life.   I suspect the writer of Deuteronomy knew something about this.  Did you notice that every week in Church, Synagogue and Mosque, the same things are said again, again and again?  Our religious traditions know that we do not listen well and we tend to forget.   We have set up all sorts of rituals to remind us and remind us.   

As a husband, I am aware that sometimes, regardless of my best intentions, I need to rely on the good patience of my wife to help me remember.  And I know, the message will have to be repeated, repeated and repeated.  Listening is not easy! There is so much going on, it is so easy to forget. 

My point?  All this is not new.  It may be more technologically complicated today.  But we still live our lives between listening and remembering. We Jews say the Shema every day; I try to tell my wife that I love her every day; I end my classes telling my students to “Stay sane out there.”  We need to be reminded of what we must remember.  Listening and remembering, not easy, but worth the effort!